Deep Listening in a Fast-Paced World
Written By: Jim Grout
I recently did a book presentation with an audience of about forty people. Many of the folks in attendance had history with one another as long time neighbors, friends and acquaintances. As part of the evening program, we did a partner exercise that asked the following question.
“Think back to your days as a young person, a student in school – kindergarten through young adulthood. Now try to think of a situation with a particular person, a teacher, a coach, a bandleader, a family member, etc. that was extremely positive. It might have been a discussion that you had, an act of some kind that this person did for you or simply a comment he or she made. But to this day, five, ten, twenty years or more later, it remains in your mind as a very important and positive memory.
Take a moment to carefully recreate what took place. Take your time. Then, think for a moment about how that situation made you “feel.” Try to condense those feelings into a single word. Share your story and your word with your partner.
I’ve done this exercise with hundreds of people over the years and it never fails to elicit a rich and meaningful dialogue. I asked folks to share their one word regarding how the situation made them “feel.” In no particular order, we heard… respected, valued, important, significant, loved, smart, cared for and happy. As evidenced by the collage of photos that are part of this blog, each pair was keenly focused upon one another, some actually “leaning in” to the conversation. At the end of the evening, several folks commented that they got to know a familiar face from countless other gatherings in a whole new way. All it took was setting the stage for meaningful dialogue to happen. Have you ever taken a risk to reach out or connect more deeply? What happened?
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Want to explore how to apply these concepts in your own school, team, or organization? Pick up a copy of Jim Grout’s When In Doubt…Give Them Your Heart. It’s packed with real-world stories and reflection questions designed to help you connect, empower, and lead by example in your own community.